Grow in Love

      Not to long ago i got a new piece  for my room to hang on my wall. It says lots of things that every person should do in their life (find a passion, try new thing, be creative, ect.). One of the lines said fall in love. i show my dad the new piece to get his opinion. He looked at it an within the first 5 seconds of reading he exclamed, "no!" asked him what was wrong. he turned to me and told me, "no, you don't fall in love. falling hurts, you should know that better than anyone else with your arm. when you fall things break and you can put them back together but they will never quite be the same. no. you grow in love. because when you grow in love you are constantly learning. so that even if things do end you aren't broken, you are in one piece. and even though the little pieces might have changed abit, they will make you better, stronger."
    At the time i thought i understood what those words were suppose to mean to me, but i didn't. Today my best friend texted me and told me that she was sick. instantly i told her that i would come over to her house and bring her starbucks. i didnt even worry about if my mom or brother needed there cars because i knew i needed to be there for her.
    Me and melanie definently have a relationship that has grown. it has gone from were hangin out cause we dont have anyone else, to your really different then i thought, to wow your really my best friend, to your really like my sister, and it has taken time. and i realized tonight that our friendship is like what my dad described. sometimes people getting really close really fast and in the end they trust someone to easily and get hurt. but i have found my best friendships are the ones that i have grown in. the people i care about and trust the most are the relationships that have been taken them slowly.
    I can't wait until i meet that some one that i will get to know. Some one that i will get to bring their favorite food when their sick. Some one that will make me laugh uncontrolably and acted immature with. Some one who would drop everything when i need them. Some one i will trust on experience that they are trustworthy. Some one i will have a deep friendship with. Some one i will grow in love with.

Have deep meaningfull friendships. they just might change your life.

Jess

Changed

   i will be quite honest, i dont very much enjoy new years in fact i quite dread them. it is the one night of the year that we all stay up to celebrate 'new beginnings'. but the truth is we aren't starting over we are just continuing on a new page. things that have happened aren't just going to go away in fact the new years always just seem to be this constant reminder that they arent going to happen again.
  This year i made plans to hang out with some people on new years although i was sick but i decided to stay home. my voice has been gone for the most part of the past three days. i have gotten very frusterated by this because i can't sing. and the more i thought about it the more i realized that i am very hard to please. because when i have something its quite simple. i have it. nothing else matters. but when i lose things that i want i become a not so plesent person.
   like when i new year comes and takes away the old year i'm not happy. because all i really want is right now. i want someone to see whats going on right now.
   and right now i dont have my voice.
   i feel both literally and figuratively.
   but maybe this time. maybe this new year i wont let my voice slip away like i have in the past.
   because i dont want to lose my voice, i dont want to lose my say in what i want my life to be.

  this new year hasn't come without its fair share of burdens that i still have to carry from last year. but im ready. im ready to take on this thing we all call life. for so long i have kind of just floated through but not now. im ready to be couragous.
maybe project 365 changed me, maybe my new way of school changed me, maybe God changed me, maybe my circumstnaces changed me, but its undeniable that i am changed.

change can be scary... but this year embrace it with all the courage you have. it just might change you.

Jess