Changed

   i will be quite honest, i dont very much enjoy new years in fact i quite dread them. it is the one night of the year that we all stay up to celebrate 'new beginnings'. but the truth is we aren't starting over we are just continuing on a new page. things that have happened aren't just going to go away in fact the new years always just seem to be this constant reminder that they arent going to happen again.
  This year i made plans to hang out with some people on new years although i was sick but i decided to stay home. my voice has been gone for the most part of the past three days. i have gotten very frusterated by this because i can't sing. and the more i thought about it the more i realized that i am very hard to please. because when i have something its quite simple. i have it. nothing else matters. but when i lose things that i want i become a not so plesent person.
   like when i new year comes and takes away the old year i'm not happy. because all i really want is right now. i want someone to see whats going on right now.
   and right now i dont have my voice.
   i feel both literally and figuratively.
   but maybe this time. maybe this new year i wont let my voice slip away like i have in the past.
   because i dont want to lose my voice, i dont want to lose my say in what i want my life to be.

  this new year hasn't come without its fair share of burdens that i still have to carry from last year. but im ready. im ready to take on this thing we all call life. for so long i have kind of just floated through but not now. im ready to be couragous.
maybe project 365 changed me, maybe my new way of school changed me, maybe God changed me, maybe my circumstnaces changed me, but its undeniable that i am changed.

change can be scary... but this year embrace it with all the courage you have. it just might change you.

Jess