finding words

   i don't think ill ever be able to forget anything you've told me. you don't know but to me your everywhere. i cant go a day without remembering. and if i wanted to i could close my eyes and i could see you, i could feel you, i could hear your voice. you don't know what you left behind. you don't know how much i miss you. not the sappy love kind of miss you but just missing your presence in my life. you told me our friendship was way to strong to throw away and yet i feel like i don't even know you anymore. i feel like i bother you. i feel like i let you win even when your not here.
  i wish it wouldn't of happened. i wish i could take it all back. i wish we could go back to how we were. you're that one person that if you came back into my life no matter how much i've been hurt by you i would always cave and let you back in, because you have this way of making me smile. this simple humor that can paint a smile on my face. text messages from you are different then they are from everyone else. i could be on the phone with you for hours and not even say a word and it would matter because i would know that you are there. maybe that's it maybe that why no one gets me like you. everyone else is so predictable but i never know what you're gonna do next. and maybe that's what scares me, is one minute out of no where you want me and the next you could be so cold.
  i honest wish i still had you because you changed everything. but i'm finding my way, i'm finding a new adventure, i'm finally finding the words i need to tell you.

take your time so you can say it right.

Jess