...strength and patience...

   recently i was asked how i have dealt with a broken heart, my answer was as follows.

"i cried and i screamed and i acted pathetic. i skipped taking showers and instead laid in bed for days on end. i would have my own pity parties. i would get irritable and push everyone away. i would cry. i let my heart ache. i let the pain throb and pulse through my entire body. i blamed him. i blamed myself. i blamed the world. i exhausted myself with, "what if i did this...would we be together?" i would pretend i was getting better only to have a relapse.
i gathered strength to get up and take a shower only to break down once i started the water. i attempted to remove him from my life. i attempted to bring him back into my life. i couldn't bear to be around anyone or anything because everything around me would remind me of him. i would watch romance movie and listen to love songs. i would have my good days and my bad. i would distract myself at times and other times i would sit comfortably with my misery. i would wait for him to come back, no matter how unrealistic it was. i waited until one day i woke up and the sun was shining a little differently, and there was a slight spring in my step. one day i caught myself genuinely laughing and things seemed... okay.
i went out with my friends and family again. except i wasn't distracting myself anymore. i still have those saturday nights when i sob while watching the notebook, wondering if he'll ever come back, but the feeling doesn't last long. because i wake up on sunday morning and feel... alright. there isn't a day i don't miss him as my best friend but happiness will grow again.
it just takes strength and patience."

be strong. be patient.

Jess